Writing With Grace

Dialogue Tags

by Dim Aldebaran

Often, it's the subtle things that really add elegance to a piece. With this series of articles, Writing With Grace will provide detailed explanations of writing techniques that can give the piece that polished feeling, and make it a pleasure to read over and over again.

“‘Dialogue tags’?” the reader asked. “What are those?”

“Well,” the columnist replied, “are those verbs that describe the way in which dialogue is spoken.”

“Oh. Those.”

The columnist gestured. “Yes…?”

The reader fidgeted. “There’s… there’s not much to dialogue tags…” She struggled for a moment, then managed the doubting additive: “Is there?”

“Well,” the columnist began, smiling, “the use of dialogue tags is actually a rather complex affair…”

‘Dialogue tags’, as they are commonly referred to as, are simply critical to dialogue. Emotive expression in dialogue require tags to give them context. However, the use of dialogue tags is one that is considerably more complex than presenting an image or being concise. As with all writing, there are more subtle things to consider, such as the connotations of the tag, the literal sound of the tag, the rhythm of the dialogue itself, and the use of parallelism.

Perhaps more clear definition of what I mean by ‘dialogue tags’ is in order. Dialogue tags modify the dialogue by describing the manner in which the dialogue is presented. ‘…he snarled’, ‘…she whispered’, ‘…they said’. It gives one an idea of how one says the dialogue, which in turn implicates certain emotions and mannerisms.

For example, “‘I don’t understand!’ she screamed.” presents a very different image to “‘I don’t understand,’ she whispered.” In the first, there is a certain feeling of heightened emotion because she screamed it (added to the use of the exclamation point), with a sense of frustration and anger driving those words. In the second however, there is more a feeling of resignation or confession.

However, this most basic diction of the tag does not cover the subtlety. In another example, ‘…she yelled’ versus ‘…she screamed.’ To compare the two, the former seems more childish, less intense, while in the latter it is more heightened, more emotional, with more physical (or emotional) pain implicated. On a side note, it jars a bit with readers to see ‘screamed’ used in a male voice, so use that sparingly.

There are many other synonyms for ‘screamed’, however. To name a few, ‘cry’, ‘bellow’, ‘call’, ‘holler’, ‘howl’, ‘roar’, ‘screech’, ‘shout’, ‘shriek’, ‘squawk’, etc. So when there is a situation when the dialogue is to be heightened in amplitude, one must consider carefully what the each potential tag implicates emotionally, beyond the literal. To ‘cry out’ sounds more romantic than to ‘bellow’, and ‘screech’ has a certain femininity or childishness associated with it due to the higher pitch, versus ‘roar’, which brings to mind something masculine or bestial—and so forth. One can never be careful enough with their diction!

Many tags also have specific connotations that relate to common imagery. For example, ‘squawk’ is often associated with chickens or other poultry. This association gives the dialogue a certain feeling of humor through exaggeration, since ‘squawk’ would rarely be accurate unless the dialogue was actually said by a bird, which is altogether unlikely. Be wary of such exaggerations, however. One should never use such an exaggeration if it compromises the sense of character for the sake of a mere laugh, or for a bit of melodrama.

A cautionary note: as young authors become more conscientious of their own writing, one of the first things that will begin to stand out is use of the tag ‘said’. It begins to look boring, compared to more colorful speech verbs like ‘murmur’ or ‘growl’. This increased awareness is of course a good thing, since dialogue tags can powerfully affect the image the dialogue presents. However, this almost always uses to abuse of dialogue tags, their placement in sometimes inappropriate places where there is not real inflection to the dialogue. Gratuitous use of the colorful tags often makes them stand out more than the dialogue itself, or lend an unnecessary and inappropriate melodrama to a passage. The colorful tags should be reserved for ‘special occasions’, when they are most appropriate. Finding these special occasions is a matter of finding equilibrium, which will develop with practice and constructive criticism.

Of course, the proper mechanics is essential for dialogue tag usage. The majority of mechanical errors in fiction are actually in the improper use of punctuation surrounding dialogue. For this, I recommend Eats, Shoots and Leaves (by Lynne Truss), a surprisingly readable book not just on punctuation mechanics but also on punctuation in general.

To give a brief summary of dialogue punctuation: dialogue is always to be surrounded by some sort of quotation mark, whether ‘ or “ is personal preference, though the latter tends to have common usage. In old texts, one may also find — to notate punctuation.

When the dialogue ends with a period but will then be followed by a tag, one must replace the period with a comma instead. This is not necessary for either exclamation or question marks. So:

“Eats, Shoots and Leaves is a very good book on punctuation,” the columnist said.

If the tag interrupts the dialogue, then it must be surrounded by commas like so:

“Eats, Shoots and Leaves,” the columnist said, “is a very good book on punctuation.”

More rarely, one may instead put the tag before the dialogue:

The columnist said, “Eats, Shoots and Leaves is a very good book on punctuation.”

Another common mechanical issue is in the order of the subject and verb tag—and I say ‘issue’ versus ‘error’ because it is not technically incorrect. Most tags are subject-verb, versus verb-subject. So, ‘he said’ versus ‘said he’. This inversion is most common in poetry, as a sometimes necessary change for rhythmic and/or rhyming reasons, but in prose it usually appears more awkward than anything. There is seldom a good reason in straight prose for this inversion, though some of the more conscientious prose may have stylistic reasons for using this inversion. At any rate, as a good rule of thumb one should stay with the subject-verb order.

Perhaps some of these errors are accountable to poor editing, versus ignorance, in which case I can only stress the need for proper mechanics in expression. Such little mistakes distract the reader incessantly from the story, preventing total immersion. (Or at least, on should awareness of the proper mechanics before breaking the rules, and then having a damn good reason for breaking them in the first place. However, such discussion digresses.)

Rhythm is an important consideration with dialogue tags. The rhythm of the dialogue is critical, to bring a sense of flow and ease to a type of passage that can be very complex for the reader to visualize.

The first thing to understand is that dialogue tags are not always necessary. One need not describe every single bit of dialogue! Oftentimes, the dialogue is not said in a particularly special way, and so adding a tag is unnecessary and would otherwise detract from conciseness. Also, even the most banal of dialogue tags will distract from the dialogue. In short dialogue passages, it is often better to leave it blank, to let it stand alone. This will help the emotion of the more conspicuous lines resonate better with the reader, and the ones that are less than remarkable to simply be glided over.

However, dialogue does not consist merely of these short phrases that require no tags. In longer passages, the reader may often get lost in the tangle of words as the topic changes. Dialogue tags can keep the reader on track. They can literally break up two different ideas in a single passage so the reader will not try to string them together. They can also denote literal pauses in speech, which can be a very natural way to denote a pause in speech, versus the blunt ‘he paused’.

As a good rule of thumb, do not insert dialogue tags in the middle of a sentence, unless one actually intends for there to be a huge pause in the middle of the sentence. Otherwise, it sounds artificially choppy and abrupt.

To add to the complexity, there are adverbs which can modify the tag further. For example, a simple ‘he said’ can become either ‘he said hotly’ or ‘he said coolly’, which bring to mind very different mannerisms.

Overusing adverbs is an easy thing to do. Oftentimes, rather than using a more concise tag, one will expand it to something unnecessarily wordy. I must stress the importance of conciseness. If there is a more concise tag, one should always use that unless there is some stylistic reason for doing otherwise, such as rhythm or parallelisms.

The word order tends to be subject-verb-adverb for dialogue tags, versus subject-adverb-verb, but as it is without adverbs, it is not so much an error as an issue. Placing the adverb before the verb tends to look sloppier, and jars with the read. So unless there is a legitimate rhythmic reason for doing so, adverbs should be placed after the verb that it modifies.

Use of parallelism is another thing to take into consideration. Parallelism is when the diction of a particular phrase, passage or section ties into each other with words that are associated either directly or indirectly through secondary meanings of the words. For example. Though parallelism shall be discussed in greater detail later, it is important to note that tags can play an important part in this. For example, in a passage with songbird imagery, one might be more inclined to use tags such as ‘warble’ or ‘trill’.

The types of tag that you use with a character should also be consistent because the character will then be well grounded in the reader’s mind. Though one should obviously not use the same tag for every bit of dialogue, it would be beneficial to stay consistent with the tags in similar situations. For example, a particular genius might be given very non-emotive, analytic and/or ‘smart-looking’ tags in general: ‘stated’, ‘replied’, ‘explained’, ‘queried’, etc.

Creative—and correct—use of dialogue is something that requires much practice. I recommend practicing with dialogue-heavy oneshots, such as ones that focus around humorous banter. Drabbles are heavy on dialogue are also good practice because they encourage more precise diction with the use of tags.